I think we all have problems with other people judging us for who we are, giving us great advice that is only great for them, and being somewhat prejudiced against us without saying so. I have learned to embrace these people and their good intentions so that I can use these good intentions to continue being the best me that I could possibly be.
When someone gives me sound advice, that is from the heart, I can truly appreciate it. The type of advice that is frustrating is when someone asks me to change who I am to become the person that they want me to become. That is not advice, it’s not motivation, it’s not support, and it is definitely is not love. True love is unconditional, true love is accepting, and true love is not something that you have to add anything to so that it becomes perfect in your eyes.
How could you truly love anything if you feel the need to add or take away from it? Adding and taking away parts of anything changes it in some way, shape, or form. How much change can anything accept, before it becomes something totally different? When a person changes too many things other than their name, they can lose their identity and pick up the identity of someone other than the person that you (truly) love. Will you love the new person that they have become? Or will you expect them to change just a little bit more if you are still not pleased?
It doesn’t feel good when you are a doctor and someone tries to make you into a lawyer…when you are a child and someone tries to make you into an adult…when you are heavy and someone wants to make you thin. There is nothing wrong with having support if you are any of these things if you really want to make a change into something else, but the changes that are made in your life can not be forced to be a part of your being by anyone or they are against your will. You are doing things against yourself when you do things against your will. You are also being something or someone that you are really not, and probably very uncomfortable with the things that are forced upon you.
It’s not right to force or manipulate anyone into anything and most definitely not right to be the person being forced or manipulated.
Motivation and manipulation are two totally different things and should never be considered as one and the same. Just like being supportive and judgmental are two totally different actions that should never be confused.
- Motivating and supporting someone is not allowing a person to accept what others believe as their truth or destiny. Motivating someone is pushing them when they need a little extra strength and letting them know that they can do anything that they put their mind to. Supporting someone is accepting a person and their limitations but standing by their side to help them see the things that are not easily seen because of the manipulative, judgmental, and destructive forces in their life. I would like to thank these people for allowing me to be me and for helping me grow into what I could become.
- Being manipulative and judgmental is when someone believes that someone else could only or should only be one thing and that there are no other options for them. Believing that a person is not good enough to be successful at who they are or want to be, judging them for being something or someone other than who you approve of, or trying to manipulate them into changing for your benefit or pleasure should never be an option. I would like to thank these people for being me and ask them where they will be when the chips are down.
We should never allow anyone to create our destiny for us, and we most definitely should not try to create anyone else’s destiny. Try thanking the people in your life for the same reasons and remember to always love yourself and others unconditionally.
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Founder of Seeing Growth and Label Me Royalty.
Spreading Positive Vibes… One person at a time!!!
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