I’m going to be honest and if you think I’m wrong that’s fine. But I believe that many relationships fail because we are so broken, from past relationships, being hurt or abused as children and the bitterness that we end up with because of it. 2 things:
1) The only one who can heal your brokenness, sure up your insecurities, and mend your jacked up past is God. We all come with some form of baggage; however, we don’t need to carry it alone. No man nor woman is equipped to heal you and give you wholeness so if you try to get someone to “Complete” you there is a rude awakening because they will mess up, they will fail you, and if you have them on this great pedestal as your “relationship savior” you will only end up more broken than before and more than likely give that person who already has their own baggage a brand new set of bags. Because once it ends they have to deal with the bitterness, insecurities, and other mess you may have put off on them when the only one able to handle that type of burden is God
2) We need to hold more value on who we are and what we give up in relationships (mainly ourselves). I say this because sex and sexual activity is far more prevalent in our age than any other age. It’s easier to see on television and online, and it’s easier to have access to because we no longer look at the act of sex, the commitment of relationship nor the bond of marriage as sacred actions. There’s no cost for the cookie so everyone gets a taste and it’s not really a big deal… Until you find someone you really like and you think they won’t accept you or you don’t deserve them because of your sexcapades of the past. Until you get married and now instead of being content with your wife you think about how freaky Kiesha use to be able to do rodeo tricks in the bedroom. Until you’re trying to please your husband but he’s not pleasing you the way big Kieth use to… Now there’s a void because sex is only “just sex” and not something of true value and worth.
I’m saying these things because these are not things that can’t be overcome, however, there’s a process that you have to allow the Lord to have in you if you seek to find wholeness and be free from the burden that these things cause. I’ve had to go through my own process and still going through it each day but I see the changes and the ways that I’ve come from before. Don’t look for completion or to be made whole from others who aren’t qualified. Look to God and then instead of looking to be fulfilled, you’ll be able to impart to others the life that you’ve been given. Be blessed family!